The Soapless Rinse

AJ Heil | 8:00 AM
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It's an upcoming phenomenon. 
Maybe you've noticed it, or maybe you've been a direct participant in it....

I call it "the soap-less rinse".





What is it?
It has come to my attention that many people, in particular, college men, have developed a somewhat interesting bathroom habit.  It consists, firstly, of a normal restroom routine.  One goes about excretion of various sorts of bodily waste all while using his/her hands to assist the process in some way, shape or form (I will spare you the details, but you can think of any practical example of how everyone almost always uses there hands to do various things when exuding fecal matter - even if it be before or after).

After necessary expulsion, it seems traditionally acceptable to engage in hand washing by the use of soap and water and I presume it is safe to say that this has become the universally accepted method of ridding oneself of any residue, whether it be microscopic or not.  We all know people who choose not to wash their hands at times, and we may even be those individuals, but a new procedure has dawned in the twenty-first century.  The soapless rinse phenomenon has taken college campuses by storm.  I speak from my experience only. 

The soapless-rinse is the act of rinsing ones hands for a minuscule amount of time using solely water.  No soap is involved, and, typically, friction or rubbing of the hands is absent as well.  A soapless rinse is usually followed by either letting the hands air-dry, or using some kind of towel/cloth to facilitate drying. The soapless rinse can last for no more than a split second, or up to several seconds at a time depending on the mental state of the person performing the rinse.
 
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My question is why? 
Does the soapless rinse really accomplish anything?  Does it actually expel any significant amount of microbes or bacteria?  Do you really think that performing a soapless rinse is substitutable for a soap-inclusive hand washing?

The biggest reason I can see for guys performing the soapless rinse is to try and deceive others into thinking they are executing a traditional hand-washing, when in fact, they are doing something far less.  Something that requires less effort and less time.  Let's face it, while the soapless rinse may be convenient (your hands may not get as dry as they would if you used soap, and it may also take less time), does it really do any good?


The soapless rinse is ridiculous.
I know this because I have also fallen subject to it. One day I found myself, almost sub-consciously, performing the soapless rinse; it had become a habitual part of my daily life, like so many other college students.  Then, my friends, I realized how absurd the practice actually is, and was prompted to resolve such a peculiar mannerism.

So I ask you this - and answer truthfully to yourself - Have you incorporated the soapless rinse into your life?

It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I challenge you to examine the practicality of such a habit.

8 responses to "The Soapless Rinse"

  1. Interesting post, to say the least. Also, I notice that there are elements of a parable in your post. I choose not to go there, however.

    I don't know about the defecation practices of others and will not engage that topic at this time, either.

    But I am reminded of what one distinguished physician told me many years ago, and it has always stuck with me. And please pardon the language, but I am quoting him verbatim: "It's not necessary to wash your hands after you pee. You ought to wash them BEFORE you pee. Your hands are dirty, but your dick is clean."

  2. Haha AJ, funny post! Thanks for adding some humor to my day! The vocabulary was awesome! Good questions on the rationality behind it. I totally agree with you.

    In response to Clint, I see what you're saying but have two counter questions:
    1) What about splash back?
    2) It depends what you've been doing with your dick since the last time you washed it... (note the convenient wedding band in the picture above.)

    I think that's all I've got to say on the subject... ;)

  3. Methinks the above mentioned distinguished physician would respond that your dick is cleaner than your hands regardless of what you've been doing with it. And I have said all I care to say on the subject. :)

  4. Haha, alright!

    Moving on...

  5. hmmmmmmm What can wash away my sin?
    NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS!
    I'll take stock in His cleansing powers.

  6. IS soap and water the "universal" method of sanitation?

  7. Call me conservative, but I think it is safe to say that, in bathrooms in American institutions (and maybe I should have included more clarification? But regardless, that's the subject matter being discussed) sinks and soap dispensers are provided for a reason.

    Has it not been culturally institutionalized and socially ingrained in American society to use soap and water when washing ones hands in the bathroom, and not solely water?

    -AJ

  8. Ever heard of germ theory?

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