May 1, 2011 - The world watched as President Barack Obama announced that U.S. Special Forces had determined the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden, carried out a military operation and killed him.  I watched the President's speech live, and I feel privileged to have witnessed such an historic moment.  Now, having reflected for a couple of hours, I have three distinct emotions.  They may seem conflicting, even contradictory, but I believe that they can all coexist to form a proper response to an event such as this.

Number one, I feel sorrow.  I am sorry that we live in a broken world.  I am sad that today, another soul entered hell to face an eternity of punishment.  I share the heart of God that takes "...no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live." (Ezekiel 33:11)  I am sad that Bin Laden rejected Jesus, refused to turn to Jesus, and continued in his unbelief.  I am sad that because of that, he now faces the eternal, conscious torment of hell.  I take no pleasure in his eternal destruction. 

And yet, though I do not rejoice in his death or his eternal sentence, I rejoice that a murderous terrorist, who is responsible for the death of thousands, is no longer a threat to this world.  I rejoice in the countless lives that will be spared because of Bin Laden's death.  I rejoice in the bravery and self-sacrifice of our armed forces who have fought to protect the freedoms that we enjoy in this country...my heart overflows with gratitude!  And even more, I rejoice in the justice of God!  I rejoice that God has brought just punishment through the leaders that he has established.  Romans 13:4 is very clear: "For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer."  I rejoice that God is sovereign, he is on the throne, and that he will bring evil to justice.  Justice wins!  And yet, as I ponder the just punishment of God, I am overcome by a third emotion...

I am overcome by trembling awe and wonder at the sheer, inexplicable grace of God.  The fact is that on my best day, my heart is just as evil as Bin Laden’s.  I have the same rebellion against God, the same bent toward evil, the same broken desires.  My heart is just as capable of murder as his.  So why didn't I turn out to be a mass murderer?  It isn't because I am any better than him...I tremble at that fact.

What is more, I deserve death every bit as much as Bin Laden does.  My sins are no less egregious.  The truth of the matter is that every day that I wake up with breath in my lungs, it is a gift of free grace from God.  "The wages of sin is death..." and so, therefore, death is what I deserve this very moment.  So why aren't I dead?  Why didn't the Special Forces raid my bedroom and kill me?  Answer?  The completely undeserved grace of God!

I tremble at the fact that though I am wicked and deserve earthly and eternal death, God sent his son Jesus Christ, fully God and fully man, to come and die on the cross for my sins.  I tremble at such unmerited mercy toward me.  I am reduced to nothing as I ponder the wrath and justice of God being diverted from me and put on to Christ, giving me new, undeserved life for all of eternity.  I leap for joy as I consider that this free gift of grace is extended to ALL who will believe in Christ and call on his name.  O, what awe, what gratitude I feel towards Jesus who paid it all for those who can't pay it themselves.  And as I consider the plight of Bin Laden and the justice that he is experiencing this very moment, I can do nothing but tremble that it isn't me and that it never will be me.  "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."!!! (Romans 8:1)  O, who am I to deserve such grace!?

And so as I ponder these three emotions - sorrow, joy, and trembling awe - I pray that we not pit them against each other.  It is possible, even right, to rejoice in justice being served while feeling sorrow for the eternal damnation of a human soul.  It is glorious to rejoice in the justice of God while trembling with awe at the mercy of God toward us.  We need not choose one over the others, and I pray that we don't!

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